It’s almost that day ladies and gents. So that means it’s time to swoop your loved one off his or her feet, or maybe, you are looking to find that special someone 😉 In order for me to spread the holiday cheer, I like to find an old nude painting and proceed to photoshop my face onto said picture. Next, I print out cards and hand my creation out to everyone in sight. Of course, this isn’t the only way to make someone fall madly in love with you, but I find that it is the most effective method. So please, go out, and spread that holiday cheer. Happy Valentines Day!

One day, I was sitting in the living room with my dad watching tv. Nothing is out of the usual. Suddenly, there is movement behind the DVD player, and my first thought is oh crap there is a mouse. I ask my dad if he saw anything, but he shook his head. Then, out of nowhere, a small rodent jumps to the window curtains. It appears to be a squirrel but… smaller. I am overcome by fear as satan himself stares me in the eye. Suddenly, the squirrel sours across the room; IT CAN FLY. A month or so went by. I was enjoying a bowl of cereal. Across the room from me sat a flying squirrel peeking at me from the wine cabinet. Another month passes, and 2 squirrels have been taken away from our house… but one morning I awake and there’s one sitting on my coffee pot… it was 5am… and I wanted caffeine… I may or may not have shot it with a B.B. gun. But then years past, and not a flying squirrel in sight. One morning I awake to use the bathroom, but there is something inside the toilet. With a closer look, I realize it’s a dead squirrel face down in the water. They were back. And they were now commiting suicide. Often I find myself pondering the existence of squirrels in my home. How long have they lived here? Is this actually their home? Am I the intruder? Why have I never seen a flying squirrel in the wild, yet find them residing in my living room?